Wednesday evening. It's about the dinnertime on this short yet so eventful February day. The clouds have opened apart yet again. It's raining. Not too heavily though. Little drops keep falling on your head, somehow as if to remind you of your being. It's nothing too bizarre on this little rainy island where everything runs so quickly that we nearly forget about life. Perhaps rain was in fact created so that we don't forget about the being.
Given how hungry I am I should be rather savouring some organic salad and a piece of chicken. But instead I find myself in a little, yet romantic pub. Somewhere pretty far from my normal living. A pint of ale and a cranberry juice. “I'm well prepared for these situations,” he said smiling at me at the bar as if to persuade me that you can still enjoy the pub without a few percent of alcohol in a glass. He was right. In fact, I was so intrigued that I hardly needed any drink myself.
We come from two different worlds. Some people would say two different galactic. So much do we differ from each other that somehow it all makes us same. Well, has there even been anything same? Yet, we find a common language. Perhaps it's the smile on our faces that make us unite. Isn't that enough though?
Love. Loneliness. Anticipation. Excitement. Fear. Discomfort. Unfairness. Shock. All these feelings keep flooding our hearts whilst sharing a bit or our selves with each other. Unprecedented degree of truth… Well, maybe not that unprecedented. Perhaps not even truth. But does truth exist at all? Or is it just a funny agreement of our (un)conscious selves?
Nothing indicates what's yet to come. Nothing makes us realise we will share our life together. Even if only for 24 hours. But there is something special. Something that makes this experience unforgettable. Is it the walk over the bridge, or rather the peaceful Afghani restaurant? It's funny that anything Afghani can still be peaceful in this day and age. Yet, it's so exciting that not even the rain that by now started falling down heavier as if to purposefully wet my trousers is able to make it less … Yes, less what? Special, incredible, unexpected or unbelievable?One of those… Or perhaps all at once?
He invited me over. Not for a coffee or sex. But to see his library and a little museum of art. That's at least what has been said. Does it matter though what I'm entering his life for? Perhaps it's too early to judge, or maybe already too late for any judgements, as they never change a thing anyway. Look into the future and create anew. Take things in your hands and strive for more. There is this smile that united us. Isn't it enough a reason to come in through the open doors? Throw them wide and follow the undiscovered path…
Seconds, minutes, hours pass by. I'm not even thinking about taking the train back yet. The time has stopped.
We ended in bed. Well the ‘ended’ part is quite wrong here… Time and space do not play a part. No more. Everything happens as if prescribed on some ancient tablet. “You're reading Derrida in my bed?! I would have never imagined that!” Neither would have I. All these silly times when meeting people I'd be forced to explain Nietzsche, Heidegger etc seem to be some ancient past. I feel so relaxed, so peaceful, so comfortable. At home on your hairy chest falling asleep listening to your heart.
Good morning… Carrot, yogurt and no cereals for breakfast. He's forgotten to fetch some milk. Yet, a kiss or two make me feel full and ready for a new chapter. Well, is it going to be a chapter? Or perhaps just a little episode? A turning point…
“We need some new memories,” he whispered into my ear while watching my photographs. “Promise me you will not go to Istanbul without me.” I look at him and smile. I kiss his cheek and gaze into his beautiful eyes. Then, somewhat magically, the trip to Istanbul started earlier than expected.
Lunch time… we've decided to get some food. Thai – closed. Indian – shut. We had no choice and ended up in a little local kebab shop. “Can we have two hot lamb döners please?” Our Istanbul trip has started. Is it going to be a short weekend expedition or will it take us the rest of our lives? Some questions remain best unanswered.
Finally, a short trip to the airport. Our hands tied up together under a little blanket. A few goodbyes on the outside but so many fears inside. I'm kissing you on your cheek again, only to wonder if I see you soon? Will I buy you another cranberry juice in a pub? Uncertainty pours heavily into my heart and mind. It's seems to flood… a heart touched by love.
© 2010 Matthew Machowski